Church Signs


1. CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY! Trespassers will be baptised!
2. "No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
5. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stonetablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and aheadline that reads, -"For Fast Relief, Take Two Tablets."
6. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot waterbefore you know how strong they are."
7. "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush."
8. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
9. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-Smoking."
10. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives."
11. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
12. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
13. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
14. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
15. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire Insurance soon."
16. " A ch__ch is a church when (U R) in it.
17. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
18. "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."
19. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

Grandma Time!

Gram came up for a visit a few days ago and let me tell you what, IT HAS BEEN A BLAST! She is such a funny person and so energetic. She has been helping my Mom out with the new magazine that my parents recently purchased so it has been a busy couple of days. First, my Gram went out and took my Mom's car. She went to a plaza and when she was finished she came back to the car and tried to start it but she couldn't get the keys to work!!! She tried and tried but it wouldn't budge. She thought of using a pay phone but she remembered that she had given ALL of her change to my little sister for her jar. So can you guess what she did? She WALKED ALL THE WAY HOME!!! It isn't that far but it is a pretty long walk. :P She came in the front door and I just stared at her because she looked like someone had just run over her with a truck, and she was SO red I thought she might pass out. I said, WHAT HAPPENED???!!!! She pointed out the window and I saw that there was NO car in the driveway! WHOOPSIE! Poor Gram. I will tell you she is fine and recovered. Another funny story, She slept in my sister's room which is downstairs and my sister's dwarf hamster lives in her room. My Grandma HATES rodents of any kind. Even if it is a cute tiny little dwarf hamster. She can barely even look at them. So we decided for her sake to move the hamster out of the room so she wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
We forgot to put the hamster out of Kate's reach so I bet you can guess what happened next. Kate got the hamster cage door open and brought the little present right to Gram to show her what she got! She plopped him down right on Gram's lap and Gram SCREAMED!!! Her arms in the air and then she froze with eyes as big as..... Oreo cookies. Rachel quickly scooped "Gus" up and put him back in the cage out of Kate's reach. I walked quickly out of the room so I wouldn't show my smile. I couldn't help it at all. It was the funniest sight I think I have ever seen. Poor Gram. She has recovered from that incident as well.

And no, we do not try to kill her every time she comes for a visit. :o)

I can't wait to blog about her next visit!